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Men and divorce
So here I am at work when my mobile rings, and its my son calling me from Dover in the Queue for the Ferry, telling me “they are going” and at the end of the conversation, he tells me he loves me and passes the phone to his sister who tells me she will miss me and loves me as well.
This kind of thing is told to me on a regular basis, and very often as men we think of how this hurts us.
As a divorced father, no doubt you try to do all the right things and think of the children first. You are lucky if you do not argue over them and try to comprimise where you can.
I always think of the caucasian chalk circle story of the two mothers laying claim to a baby and asked by the emporer to pull the child from the circle of child as the real mother will have the strength to pull the child out of the circle and away from the other woman… In fact the emperor gives the child to the woman who lets go not wanting to hurt the child as only the real mother puts her childs wellbeing ahead of her own.
Perhaps as divorced Fathers we do not do enough of that. It is too easy when you are on your own, to feel sorry for yourself, to feel resentful to an ex partner, and to weigh your loss.
Counselling can help.
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