If I was to put it all down, the way I felt, my desires and expectations, the tedium, the lack of inspiration and creativity, I am not sure where it would get me.

It would seem what ever I dream, I always leave soemthing out or add something in that I’d did or didn’t need. Peoples dreams are strange things, I just saw one of the gallagher brothers from Oasis on the TV, sitting in his home which looked like the Palace of Whitehall from the restoration of the Monarchy.

I wonder if thats what he dreamed of when he lived in counciul house in Manchester?

I can’t live without spirituality, but I can’t really explain it. Many people think faith, belief, religion is about surety and security they are so used to the invincibly ignorant telling everyone how their truth is the only truth, whereas what i have found is an explaination of the experience of fear and insecurity, my spirituality and religion is a beief in the not sure, in the feeling my way, unable to explain, and really might be mistaken….
—UnderThisSeparatorIsLatterHalf—
My experience isn’t one of certainty, it never has been, I mistrust certainty, in the struggle between science and hocus pocus, i come down firmly on the side of hocus pocus, of witchcraft, magic the wierd and the wonderful…Ghosts.
This I beleive is partly to do with the way my childhood has stayed with me, children scare me yet fascinate me, I love the things they do and create, If I could afford it i would frame and put on the walls the pictures my own children give me, there view of the world is contained in the free expression they allow on crayons and paper…this si the free expression i want.

But this piece is called consideration, its the thing we all claim the young don’t have anymore…”no more respect”…but ti is infact the thing we have taught them and encouraged in ourselves. We no longer beleieve things are worth supporting or considering for anymore time than it takes the next thing to attract our attention, or for the drugs and alchohol to dull our minds…I speak from experience here.

We cannot even consider ourselves to be at fault.

Ahh and our anger has been blunted for we see in wars in Iraq, or injustices in the east or asia, or perhaps our guilt in the knowledge that our clothes were made by people paid a going rate that is close to what we accidently lose in loose change through the hole in our pocket..we see ourselves, but we will not consider it, and if we get angry it is too kill and maim not to get justice, because justice is not available, because no one will consider that either.

So what we want is fun and sex and nothing too abrasive or different so that our equilibrium will be upset, and we go to work half asleep and come back in the same way.

without spirit, or anger or awareness.

My beliefs, my uncertainties… central to my unsure state of disatisfaction, include seeking the spirit, a better way of living, releif from boredom, an alternative view of health, a realisation that I am human and things upset, piss me off or alternatively give me great joy all in the same moment and this is true for others too.

I get bored when not engaged in something serious and meaningful, or at the very least talking and thinking about it…oh yes and I have been considering music and its not as bad as i thought..in fact quite inspiring.. i love that first line of the first song on the recent Oasis album…”I carry the madness everywhere I go”

Related posts:

Related posts:

1. Another view of healing
2. The Power of Words – The things we say
3. A Way of Viewing The Psyche
4. Depression – Its OK to be sad.
5. I can be creative

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  Jonathan Spencer : Posted a new post on their blog
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